How to exit Internet. You need to do the following steps correctly to exit Internet:
1. Close all pages.
2. Shut down Operational System of your computer.
3. Turn off your computer, monitor, printer and modem.
4. With the following several steps, refresh your interaction with the outside world:
First step. Open the window and breathe with fresh air. Attention! You can not adjust colors and you can not change the volume. Accept everything as it is. Noises are not modeled, they are transferred "live".
Second Step. Walk several steps in the room. It is just your legs that are moving under you; don't be afraid!
Third step. Look around yourself whether there is anybody moving around you. Try to approach him and just talk. You don't need keyboard for it! Did he answer? If yes, be very careful, you are not in a forum or chat. Think before you say something: now any offense might result in bodily harm!!!
Fourth step. Try to get food. To do this, please, open the doors of all furniture. If there is a light inside one of them, it means you found refrigerator. Look inside, is there anything to be eaten? Before eating anything, pay attention to the expire date.
Fifth step. Now go out of the house with the purpose of filling the furniture with lights in it (the process known as "going shopping"). Attention! If everything is unfamiliar to you, ask someone to take you to "grocery store". Look around: all the cars are real, you can cross the street only when the street is empty. How it might sound impossible, from now on you have only ONE life instead of seven screen names!!!
New start of the game is impossible. It's also impossible to find a trader that rehabilitates with the healing drink.
Sixth step. On the way back, if small kids run to you repeating: "Dad, dad!" or "Mom, mom!", they might be your own kids. Yes, those little kids were much much smaller in your memory... There is nothing to be scared of, though, you just need to recall their names, and you will get used to them very soon.
Seventh step. When you come back home, sit in an armchair comfortably, but by no means, don't sit in the one that is in front of your computer!!! Now turn to the face around you, and assure her or him that you want to change. The person might be you husband or wife.
Immediately sell your modem and buy an aquarium. It functions as your screen saver. But it will be the first sign of your improvement!
bcs it's for married ppl 
These jokes are not so long, you could translate in no time. 
