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ZARYADate: Wednesday, 2009-02-25, 10:22 PM | Message # 91
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DISCOVERY CHANNEL PRESENTS:

dog during the crisis)))

tree eater cat......

the annual misic award winner.....)




Message edited by ZARYA - Wednesday, 2009-02-25, 10:54 PM
 
MontegueDate: Thursday, 2009-08-13, 0:51 AM | Message # 92
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Well, here is some fun from me smile

Prologue

Seen on a restroom wall:
"God is dead: Nietzsche.
Nietzsche is dead: God."

Part 1
Stories

Sherlock Holmes and Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!"

Magician
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

Language Problem
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talking abouta sexa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella "Mississippi"!

Part 2
to be continued... biggrin


-In Noctum Absid Omen-
 
OrochimaruDate: Tuesday, 2009-10-13, 1:07 AM | Message # 93
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Most of you probably familiar with Facebook – the unsinkable flagship, the mother of all social networks around the world, but it won't be our focus today. Three years ago Russian comrades took a look at Facebook and decided that: “The hell with it.... We will build our own with “blackjack and hookers!” Three years went by, and a social network known as VKontakte appears with no less than 45 million users. Wait! Don't discard VKontakte yelling who needs it if we have Facebook because I will explain why you do need it.
It is a known fact that on the streets of Russia there are bears roaming freely with balalaika's and cap hats which is probably the reason why copyright fighters haven't come to Russia yet... ATTENTION!!!! In VKontakte social network you will find multi-million library containing free mp3 files, you can listen on-line to whatever you feel like without any limitations, and believe me, there is plenty to listen to . It is unbelievably simple – following the registration http://vk.com/reg17080944 (absolutely free) in the search field simply enter audio files search, and VIOLA, you have found your happiness! I suppose advanced users don't need an explanation as to how files are downloaded.
 
xo_xoDate: Tuesday, 2009-10-13, 10:15 AM | Message # 94
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Orochimaru, sure VKontakte has it`s benefits and is comfortable to find any kind of music U like, but this is a humour thread, don`t forget that, so find some another thread for advertisment...

~the more I get to know people the more I`m starting to like dogs~
 
MassagetDate: Monday, 2009-10-19, 9:42 PM | Message # 95
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LOL, as if people didn't know where to get mp3's and stuff before vkontakte... it was a nice joke tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g21y2y_5KoY&feature=related
 
xo_xoDate: Wednesday, 2009-10-21, 11:09 AM | Message # 96
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huh, I probably don`t have any sense of humor at all cause I don`t find it funny... and thanks Noodles for explaining that joke, cause stupid me didn`t get it, so one more time A BIG THANK U dry dry dry

~the more I get to know people the more I`m starting to like dogs~
 
MassagetDate: Thursday, 2009-10-22, 10:28 PM | Message # 97
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xo_xo, you are very very welcome tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g21y2y_5KoY&feature=related
 
MassagetDate: Friday, 2009-11-13, 1:24 AM | Message # 98
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"С рожей не повезло - это когда покупаешь круглые темные очки, как у Джона Леннона, но выглядишь в них, как кот Базилио sad "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g21y2y_5KoY&feature=related
 
LALADate: Friday, 2010-01-01, 1:33 PM | Message # 99
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Message edited by LALA - Friday, 2010-01-01, 1:35 PM
 
MassagetDate: Tuesday, 2010-01-05, 2:37 AM | Message # 100
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haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g21y2y_5KoY&feature=related
 
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